Nathan Wade Carter - Five Poems
TITLE
I wrote to you from the jail of being American
my stomach could not stomach vitamins anymore
a poor man’s preventative maintenance attempt
I rarely wake up and look forward to the day
unless there are no plans
just me and my snacks
sweatpants
may or may not shower
don’t care what kind of underwear
I wrote you I said / things are not the same but
we keep going we keep doing the next thing
I disrupt my life to heal it
I am told I can’t care about justice but I just can’t not care about justice
you want equity but squash attempts at maintaining or achieving it
my concentrated queerness is a forcefield / an atmosphere
I am a content goldfish made to bird myself into this chatter of work addiction
I am too sloth to keep up with your capitalism
I am a lowercase word / no need for title to own oneself
FIRE-ADAPTED LINEAGE¹
tarot card of the mushroom
little mushy phoenix delicious
things grow or live where a supposed nothing can
the most desolate or abundantly inhospitable
life will not be contained life breaks free it expands to new territories & crashes through barriers
painfully maybe even dangerously but uh well there it is… life finds a way²
I want Jeff Goldblum to drip water on my hand
touch hair & imperfection with finger drawn down skin
fuck Alan Laura Dern is better than that
Laura Dern is queen
if you ask for more I may not have it
a fire seldom able to light
wet wood
hard to burn
whatever reason a thing ends
debris streaks through the sky a second
burning pretty shooting stars
are not stars
but it’s a sweet designation
garbage is honored to be called such
¹phrase taken from the Wikipedia page on morels
²from Jurassic Park
STUPID BALLOON
no longer a fly with a lasso of dental floss around me flying in a circle a stupid balloon
a type of toy the humans use to celebrate a moment
my type of peg’s purpose is not to fit a hole but to exist as is / the purpose of one’s life is not
dependent on it fitting or matching or being productive meaning making money / to hell with this
green paper / I am tired and you are hurting anything
EGGS
body always wanting to breathe
even if I hold it
the snow sound of landing
looking down at the body
vision shaking lakeside
I’ve never felt this ambivalent for what’s next
you move on so easy
nothing I can say to keep you
only eggs about to be something
men are easily bored
or enamored with dull things
let the mouth dry out
burn the tongue
I thought it was the tea
but it was what I wanted to say
A TOAST
my sun-struck nothing
my basin of water half evaporated
this is what I have to work with
this is the mark the water has left
this is the price of running hot
I swim in the light of you
well, swam
ocean of light eye islands
nose island
breath island
my unsaid test
there are no multiples to choose from
I eat myself
to death
a toast
I press into the mattress
my butterfly weight
my pattern a distraction
I can’t do just anything
I was told to follow the heart
but my heart has yet to pay rent
so pay artists
place water in the basin
a tribute
cracked and glowing
all the angel mushrooms
all this god just sitting out there